On Friday, August 5, I was joined at CRC by my CPE colleagues Crystal Brown and Leanne Noland. Leanne also brought her boyfriend and her parents with her. Leanne had been to a Jewish service once before as part of a class when she was a pre-teen, but Crystal, Leanne's boyfriend, and her parents had never before experienced Jewish worship. We all let the liturgy wash over us, each with her or his own understanding, them experiencing some things as unusual, me feeling that what I've become very familiar with will be a weekly part of my life only a bit longer, "evening the frayed edges of our lives."
I preached, at Rabbi Susan's invitation, receiving appreciative responses that went beyond polite recognition of a guest speaker. Rabbi Susan gave me a gift that she had brought back from Tzfat, Israel, on the trip she had returned from just the day before - a piece of kabbalistic art that represents the separation and reunification of the divine in the realms of human consciousness:
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| Tashuv-Hey - The upper and lower Hey of the Holy Name. A mystical representation of the never-pronounced four-letter name of G-d. |
It also serves as a kind of Jewish yin-yang representation, the unification of opposites. "When we are concerned only for ourself we are empty. When we care for each other we are overflowing."
Wonderful oneg conversation rendered poignant by the realization of how little time remained.
The next morning I arrived at 8:45 for Torah study of the parsha, the day's assigned Torah portion, that I had preached on the night before. Then at the 10:00AM Shacharit service, there was a double bat mitzvah. Twin girls were leading the service, reading from the Torah scroll and the haftorah portion in Hebrew, with cantillation. The girls each had different styles and skills, presented different perspectives in their divrei Torah, their teachings on the parsha. It was a beautiful service with lots of family and friends who are not members of the congregation swelling the attendance.
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| The Aron Hakodesh, the Ark of the Torah, from the outside. |
This past Friday evening, after saying goodbyes to all but one of my CPE colleagues, supervisor, mentors, and floor staff, Bob Crecelius, who had been on call on the 5th and thus unable to attend when I preached at CRC, and I went out to eat at Rasoi, the Indian restaurant on Euclid, before both attending the Kabbalat Shabbat service at CRC. Bob had just once previously attended a synagogue service, and that was in a Conservative congregation. He loved the service and thought that he would sometime bring his wife to a service here. They live in Farmington MO, something like an hour away from the city.
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| Representation of the Klipot, the shards that, according to Kabbalah, resulted from the first breaking of Creation |
It was, as always a beautiful service, and I sang with full voice, the prayers of the liturgy that has become familiar and comforting through this summer. It was also Social Responsibility Shabbat, and the congregation was presented with the first annual Missouri IMPACT Amos 5:24 Justice Advocate Award by the Rev. Dr. John Bennett and the Rev. Allen Ladage, members of the IMPACT Board.
After the service, Bob and I said our goodbyes, I had wonderful oneg conversations. And then Leslie Caplan and I went to the Moonrise rooftop terrace in the University City Delmar Loop and talked and talked until after 2:00 AM, not even realizing the time until the bouncer told us that they were getting ready to close up, and the elevators would be crowded with drunk people. We should leave soon if we wanted to avoid that experience.
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| Light shines into the oneg from every direction. |
Bright and early, I got up for Torah study at CRC. At the morning service there was a bar mitzvah. So beautiful in every aspect. At several points in the service I had tears in my eyes. I was hyper-aware of this being my last service at CRC for a while and was emotional on that count, certainly. But the bar mitzvah boy did a wonderful job leading the service with the support and guidance of Rabbi Randy and Rabbi Susan. And at various points it was clear that this was a very emotional experience for him. He was not just fulfilling a communal expectation, becoming a man in the sense of being responsible for his own actions. This was something he took seriously - at age 12. He wiped tears from his eyes several times.
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| Leslie Caplan and I enjoying after-kiddush-luncheon conversation |
At the end of the service, in addition to the bar mitzvah boy and his parents, Rabbi Susan called to the bima a girl who is departing this week for university. And then she called me up to the bima too, telling the congregation that I had spent the summer worshiping with them while I was in the chaplaincy program at Barnes-Jewish Hospital, that I had preached for them on the 5th, and that this was my last Shabbat with them for now. I walked up to the bima, stood with the bar mitzvah family, the college-bound girl, Rabbi Susan and Rabbi Randy, all arm-in-arm, as the congregation, also arm-in-arm, sang the words of blessing, and Rabbis Randy, Ed, and Susan, in turn, interpreted the blessing in ways appropriate for that day and that gathering. I've long said that I love blessings. It felt wonderful, receiving this one. I was proud to share the bima with the new bar mitzvah and this congregation's rabbis, whom I love and respect immensely.
And I cried a little bit.
After the service, I was approached by several people who had been present when I preached but hadn't yet spoken with me about it. Very positive responses. And members who have come to know me expressed their sadness at my leaving, wishing me the best.
The bar mitzvah family provided a kiddush luncheon with some of my favorite things - like lox, like a delicious kugel, like... And Leslie Caplan, her daughter (on the verge of her own adventure going off to live in California), and I sat talking until about 2:00PM. Then back to the apartment to pack and take most of my things back home to Mt. Vernon.
I was rather emotional. I will miss CRC very much!
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